And That's That
by Kondoru
Summary: Leda takes the Turing Test.


AND THAT'S THAT. By Kondoru

Standard Disclaimers

Thanks to JP for Betaing

Before you read this fic it might be helpful to read the Wiki page, `Turing Test`

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This is a fic I wrote about Casshern, Dio and Ledas life before the Ruin. It may or may not expand to a series.

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All was busy in the hall of Lady Tayra, not the great hall of her abode, but the small intimate one, Tayra had guests in, they were ranged around the firepit; eating and drinking. Yes they were humans.

Rollo, who was an In-law from the next village was eying up the huge cream cake.

Across him was a teenage girl called Warringal, who was eying up the selfsame cake. No one had the heart to cut it, at least not yet.

And no one was listening to Kit.

Kit, as usual was interested in his machines, no one was interested in the latest upgrade on his truck. (Mechanics did not hold much respect in a world where that job was done by robots. Most humans rode horses instead of cars.) He started talking about the Turing test.

"That's an old concept." Said Yuko who was the oldest there, well over a thousand years old. (Old, even by today's methlusan standards.)

"Yes, it's about whether a machine could be mistaken for a human by listening to their conversation." Kit was evidently fascinated by the idea.

"As if one of those snooty heaps of junk would deign to talk to a human," growled Rollo's wife (whose name no one had caught.) She had Opinions.

Robots lived in the City. Though there were humans there, respectable folk shunned their metal overlords.

Tayra had an idea. She said nothing, continuing with her venison pasty.

The argument went on, as expected. Everyone (particularly Rollo's wife who loved arguments.) was enjoying themselves immensely.

Tayra smiled to herself. She finished her wine and another pasty. Eventually she put down her plate. "As a matter of fact I have someone here who may be able to answer your questions." Tayra turned around, "Sanjai! Where are you?"

He came in. "What was it you wanted, my Lady?" Sanjai was Tayra's factotum.

"Could you go fetch me a Neo?" Tayra asked.

"I think they will be asleep." said Sanjai doubtfully.

Tayra shook her head, "go grab the first one then."

So Sanjai walked out.

He went out the side door, across the yard, dark under a starlit sky, to the other building. To the right was stables, and to the left, workshops and stores.

Unlocking the outside door he switched the light on. (Tayra was rich enough to have electric lighting even in the lesser buildings of her estate.) Then was down the door lined corridor.

Sanjai paused by the last door next to the storerooms, he brought out a bunch of keys; symbol of his status and selected one with oft familiarity.

Sanjai unlocked the door.

Inside it was dark.

"What is it?" He had woken one of the Neos. It was Leda.

Sanjai put his fingers to his lips. "Tayra wants you."

Leda wrinkled her nose.

"Don't pull faces; come on."

There was a sound of blankets being pushed aside.

"Don't kick." Came Cassherns voice sleepily.

Leda shushed him and stepped out the door.

Sanjai locked the door securely behind him. The Neos seemed trustworthy; he took no risks.

Back in the hall more food had been passed around. Tayra smiled to herself, she was really going to let the cat out of the bag, wasn't she? Part of her wanted to keep the Neos out of the way, though their presence in her village was not secret. No one liked to talk about robots. So normally Tayra's pets kept a low profile.

However, the Neos were not ordinary robots, in fact there was a doubt they were robots at all...

Sanjai stepped in, "This is Leda," he announced, ushering that person into the room with a slight push.

"Welcome Leda," Tayra said. "We are having a party."

This newcomer was dressed in a patched nightshirt, slippers and a misshapen nightcap pulled down well over their ears.

Leda stepped into the light of the fire.

"It's a robot," someone at the back exclaimed with a hint of fear.

"Are you sure?" Warringal asked, she was a young girl who had been in the City of Robots only months ago, in order to receive her first longevity treatment. Though she had seen many robots she had never spoken to one, dealing with the city humans instead. So Warringal was naturally interested in the discussion.

"Well, this will answer it for sure." said Rollo.

"A pity," sniffed Rollo's wife, "we could have argued all night over that." It was obvious she had been relishing the prospect.

"She looks very human." Kit shook his head. This was not his mental image of a robot.

Tayra smiled at the surprise she had caused. None of her guests had expected her to produce a `robot` to put to the Turing test.

And she was taking pleasure in showing off her wards. "Strip, Leda, I want everyone to see your simply wonderful body."

Leda sighed; it would come to that, wouldn't it? Everyone wanted to look at her...If not poke and prod.

Or worse.

"No huffing, do as I say." Tayra commanded.

Leda grumpily pulled off her shabby clothing.

To reveal a perfectly human body.

With a few bruises, it was true.

"Come and sit by the fire, Leda. I know you don't like the cold."

This was an order and Leda well knew it. She stepped round Tayra's chair and sat at her feet in front of the fire.

Tayra's little party looked at Leda with great interest.

"She cannot be human, her skins too perfect."

"She smells..." Warringal was next to Leda on the right side. "Ok, she mostly smells of animal but there's something else..." Leda was dirty, her hair and skin bore patches of encrusted dirt. Though Tayra had her charges bathe, this was often after everyone else had used the bathhouse. Ledas foreign smell was overlaid with general dirt.

"Metal and plastic and clapped out electronics" Yuko suggested. He had met robots before.

Warringal shook her head, "no, none of that. Nor sweaty person...It's more...Organic."

"I wonder if she..."said Rollo with too much curiosity.

Rollo's wife kicked him sharply upon the ankle. "But look how expressive her eyes are?" She leaned forwards to sniff at Leda herself. "Organic, yes...certainly not a human smell." She rapidly poked her finger in Ledas eye, who yelped and shrank back, hand to face.

Tayra pulled Leda closer in between her legs. "Don't hurt her." Tayra gave a dark smile, "she feels pain."

Leda watched their faces apprehensively; there were the usual expressions of disgust...And speculation.

Tayra pointed at the bruises on Ledas back. "I'm afraid I have to whack her one every so often, to remind her she's no rustbucket. This is Leda, she comes from the City." Tayra explained "She has two brothers; they are sleeping at the moment, I will bring them out in the morning."

"Are they like her?" Rollo's wife asked with a hint of lewdness.

Tayra nodded, "perfect in every part" she stressed the last word.

Leda after assessing the crowd put her hands underneath her legs and adopted the posture of a Sheela na gig. (1)

There was a collective intake of breath.

Tayra kicked her. "Don't show off, Leda."

Leda shook her head in decided non compliance. "All your friends want to know...I had to satisfy their curiosity didn't I?" She said meekly.

Everyone laughed; the ice was broken, as Leda had hoped. She definitely was not a potentially threatening robot...At least not in one part.

Rollo grabbed up a bowl of nibbles and handed it to Leda, who looked perplexed for a moment.

She then put some in her mouth.

"Tissue, Leda." Sighed Tayra.

Leda said something indistinct. Warringal, who was sat the other side handed her a tissue.

The food was spat into it and it was binned.

"Not bad," said Leda. She was glad to get her own back at Tayra for making her take her clothes off.

"I suppose you want to taste it all?" Tayra said with a dangerous tone.

Leda gave an arch look. "You did invite me to your party; it would be rude if I didn't try everything?"

"Robots have a sense of smell," Tayra grumbled, "Did you know they also have a sense of taste? My pets here are forever mouthing at my food; but they cost nothing to feed."

"Oh let her," said Kit.

Leda shook her head." I've had enough." And she began to pull her nightshirt on.

Tayra knew better than to stop her.

"So, just what sort of machine is she?" asked Rollo's wife who was glowering at her husband.

Tayra shook her head sadly. "No one seems to know; It's my theory that Braiking Boss tried to make a robot that was indistinguishable from a human; As you can see, Leda here is obviously a machine, though she does have some impressively human attributes."

"I'll say that again!" a young man at the back butted in. Everyone laughed.

Tayra waved a hand, "yes, she's human in that department too. And her brothers...I'm surprised their batteries aren't flat, the use I put them to most nights."

Much laughs and whoops from Tayra's happy guests.

Leda kept her eyes on her bare feet; At least she hadn't been lent out yet. For chattels of the mighty and Dreaded Braiking Boss, Ruler of the robots and nemesis of Humanity, Tayra treated all three of them with too much contempt.

Leda shrugged, it was only a matter of time.

"In fact they don't belong to me; they belong to Braiking Boss himself." Tayra explained.

The idea of a mere human owning a robot, was, well, patiently ridiculous.

"Braiking Boss does not like me and my brothers." Leda sniffed, "He said we were worthless and sent us to live with the meatheads."

Tayra gave Leda a sharp smack. "You know what I said about you using such terms." She turned to the group, "She's learned bad manners from the Robots."

"Not all humans are meatheads; some are wimps, wallies and finks." (2) Said Leda, and got Tayra's foot in her behind.

"Leda and her brothers who will be about in the morning, were made in the city, they go back periodically. They are well used to living with Robots." Tayra continued.

Leda stared at her feet. "They think I'm like a human..."

Tayra nodded, "but by their standards you `are` human." she said. Her friends murmured their assent. "I got you up to tell us about the Turing test."

"The Turing test?" Leda began to show an interest. "Outdated notions" she shook her head. "The Turing test is about whether or not a robot can be distinguished from a human by a conversation, yes?"

All nodded.

"It's an extremely ancient system," Yuko said. "I'm told it predates the Singularity."(3)

"But robots speak very differently from humans. It's impossible to mistake one for another." Leda smiled.

Rollo shook his head. "None of us have ever spoken to a Robot."

Warringal nodded. "I was in The City recently...The Robots were all too uppity to notice me."

"Ohho," Leda cheered up, "I don't get noticed either...its all `dirty fake meathead` behind my back. Robots are such snooty types." She had to laugh. "No, the Turing test doesn't work. For a start the robots speak a very different language; they speak Japanese; whereas you speak English.(4) And the writing is much, much, more complex; even I cannot mistake one kind of script for another, and I do not know how to write." (5)

All were surprised at that revelation. Robots were programmed with much knowledge, several languages and scripts were normal to them.

"A robots voice is mechanical, some are more human sounding." She paused "my ears are very sensitive; I do not know if you can hear the difference...But I can."

"The Robots I have spoken to `do` sound like machines." Yuko added. He had a limited contact with robots.

"And their mode of speech its very technical." she continued. "Robots do not," Leda paused, "how do you say it? They do not talk about simple, inane things just to fill space in the conversation."

"It's called `small talk` Leda" Tayra offered.

Leda nodded, "yes, that's a good word for it. When robots talk, it's always important, otherwise they are silent."

"This is what I heard" said Yuko.

"The Turing test doesn't work and that's that." Leda said with finality.

Tayra shook her head. "But that means it's inverted. You can always tell a machine from a human. No mistake."

Warringal nodded. "A good thing too."

"And where do `you` come into this, Leda?" Yuko asked penetratingly. "`You` are a robot, we can all see that...Yet to talk to you?"

Rollo gave a laugh. "I think our lovely Leda here has just passed the Turing test."

Leda didn't like the jibe. "I'm no human."

"Well, what's the main difference between a robot and a human? They cannot reproduce." Tayra said smartly.

Everyone laughed at that. The best joke is the truth.

Leda rubbed her face sleepily. She knew better but thought it best not to shatter their illusion.

"Yes, and humans can be made by unskilled labour."

(1) Sheela na gig. Um, Wiki it. (Probably not work friendly. You can say you are researching church architecture if anyone queries.)

(2) `Not all humans are Meatheads; some are Wimps, Wallies and Finks. ` I'm sorry, that's not my line, I lifted it from the `Nemesis the Warlock` strip in 2000AD. (Very little online, sadly, but you can find the collections in places like Abe books.)

(3) The Technological Singularity. Wiki it.

(4) Japanese and English...both languages are used in `Casshern Sins` and both scripts. I somehow doubt in our world a robots `native` language would be English though they might learn it.

(5) The original Turing test was for communication by teletype machine, or some text system, so Leda has passed it right away. (That is, if you are assuming the machine is literate.)


End file.
